Short Hiatus and a Personal Request **UPDATED**

Just recently I have received some generous donations via PayPal, and I can't ever express how grateful I am to the folks who have donated. This post is, in part, to ask anyone inclined to donate between now and Christmas to consider sending the donation to my wife Dana, instead.

Dana is a gifted educator and edu-blogger, and well regarded in the edu-blogging community. She probably has more work to do on the computer on a daily basis than I do, and at the moment, we are sharing a single aging desktop. We also try to give my stepdaughter and our 6-year-old daughter computer time on occasion. I do tend to get dibs on the desktop because the work I do for Radar is occasionally time-sensitive and research-intensive.

I may not receive my first payment for work done for the magazine until after Christmas, so I felt like I had to note Dana's page on her edu-blog about purchasing a laptop and ask for help from anyone inclined to do so. I'd love to buy the laptop myself, but I'm sure I won't be able to.

And if you're an educator or find issues dealing with education and technology in general compelling, you should browse HuffEnglish.com and follow Dana's links. I believe she and some of her peers focusing on technology and education are at the forefront of changing the way young people learn, and for the better.

*****

I've decided that beginning this Monday I'm taking a brief hiatus from posting on this blog, barring any super-compelling crime stories. The hiatus will only be a week and a day, if complete (as in -- if something doesn't happen that I just can't help but blog about). I still may post to my personal weblog, Random Lunatic News, and will be doing research and writing for Radar the entire time. So I'm not on vacation. If I have a post at Radar that may be of interest to readers here, I'll add that link to this entry. I will also still respond to e-mails and story tips while on hiatus, so don't hesitate to contact me that way, if you need to. The hiatus is mostly just so I can focus a little more closely on some other work that fell behind while I was ill over the last 3 weeks or so.

[Edit: Back to the old system for now. Go here to take a look at the comments you've made during the interim: http://truecrimeweblog.disqus.com/.]

Do some folks a favor while I'm on hiatus, and check out the links on the right side of the page -- both The True Crime Blogroll and "Steve's Links" -- a mixed bag of sites, not all of them true-crime related.

*****

My hiatus may be delayed until tomorrow, making it simply one week long.

NOTE, 12/19/07

My life is weird.

Today, I wrote the following for Radar's "Fresh Intelligence":

"Jamie-Lynn Baby Daddy's Profile?"
"Kucinich's Bank Robber Bro is Dead."

I ain't telling you about 'em, you just have to read 'em. Remember to recommend the post if you are so inclined, but only recommend once per post, and do my fellow FI contributors a solid and see if you like other posts there and want to recommend them as well (there's a little link at the bottom of each "Fresh Intelligence" post you click to recommend that entry).

Then, after sending off one of those little bits o' delight, I drove to my daughter's school to hang out with her a bit during a Christmas-y party-ish time (the school doesn't have "parties" per se, just special dates -- it's complicated).

Following that, I came back to my church to sing a solo at a noon-hour Christmas "meditation" service.

Gotta love life in the 21st Century.

Open Thread: The Murder of Meredith Kercher/READ THE EDIT

[Edit, 12/17/07: Back to the old system for now. Go here to take a look at the comments you've made during the interim: http://truecrimeweblog.disqus.com/.]

For this inaugural open thread using the new commenting system, I'd like to suggest readers discuss the "Foxy Knoxy" murder -- the alleged murder of Briton Meredith Kercher by Rudy Hermann Guede, Amanda Knox, and Raffaele Sollecito. Click here for the previous entry or simply go here for the comments.

Please keep referring to this blog entry for updates on how to use the new commenting system.

NOTES ON THE NEW COMMENTING SYSTEM

1. You can ignore the points. Unless people vote you deep into the negatives, your comment will not be buried. Don't be a troll, and it will be visible. Points are awarded by other commentators, which can include me. And you know what? I like the point system for one reason -- it's a good way to let a-holes know they're being a-holes without actually engaging them (which is often exactly what they want).

2. Frankly, I think the threading thing is self-evident. If you click through to Disqus, you can select the "flat" view, if you like -- then the comments will look more like what you're used to.

3. THE COMMENTS ARE NOW PAGINATED. AT 25 COMMENTS, THEY GO OVER TO A NEW PAGE. LOOK FOR PAGE NUMBERS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE COMMENTS SECTION.

4. YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A DISQUS PROFILE. You may remain anonymous. However, you should know I take a close look at anonymous commentators and won't hesitate to delete them or mark them as spam if they get really obnoxious. If this gets really bad, I will not hesitate to change the settings so that all commentators must be registered.

5. You can sort comments by oldest, newest, hottest, and something else. I just use old or new and ignore the other settings.

6. The box where you enter your comment is now at the bottom of the entry rather than the bottom of the comments. This may be a little confusing, but you enter your comment then check the usual location, if you're sorting by "oldest."

7. Once you've left a comment, be sure to refresh the page to see what you and others have written.

8. If you do choose to use the points -- only vote another person up one time. If you wish to vote one person up multiple times, you'll probably have to make multiple profiles, which most people will not do. An attempt to vote a person up twice will actually reduce the point you just gave them.

*************

In a way, I truly appreciate it when readers feel proprietary about my blog. More than some other weblogs I've read, that seems to be the case here. People refer to "their" forum, or whatever.

But as I have had to say too many times -- this isn't a message board. On message boards, you may have admins and moderators, but essentially, the readers run the show, add the content, and the admins and mods are there to keep order. On a blog, the blogger, the person who writes the posts, runs the show. That's me.

I actually installed this commenting system to make comments slightly more like a certain type of message board. Even though I have insisted (and do insist) that people remember this is a different format from a message board, I still went ahead and tweaked things to make the comments feel more like that type of forum, because it seemed to be something the readers might like.

It always happens, though -- some people have absolutely freaked about the change. There was a time when I would have apologized for that. This is not that time. I like this change. It's more in keeping with the way much of the rest of the Web looks now. I found the new format self explanatory and easy to use, and I'm not a skilled webmaster -- I'm a writer, first and foremost, and a researcher. My wife, who is a skilled webmaster, can tell you -- frequently, me farting around with my blog may end in disaster. This time, the blog has turned out precisely as I wanted it to (ok, not precisely, but I'm referring only to some issues with fonts and colors).

I do read other weblogs, about other subjects, and I've rarely seen another blog where the creator and author has had to explain changes the way I've had to do. Either they're ignoring complaints or their readers roll with it. Frankly, I suspect the latter.

I constantly make it clear that I am deeply grateful to the readers of my crime blogs, past and present. I am. And when I make changes, they are usually for aesthetic reasons or usability issues. The comments were changes for usability, and fortunately, a few readers do agree with me. I'm not making any other changes here anytime soon, so hopefully people will grow more accustomed to the new format.

Alleged Creep(s) of the Week: Fritz Louderback and Barbara Anner

American retirees and "naturists" Frederick Calvin "Fritz" Louderback and Barbara Anner have been arrested at a nudist colony in Brazil. Authorities in the southern state of Rio Grande do Sul say that Louderback, Anner, and a Brazilian couple may have participated in child-trafficking and pedophilia.

Online evidence uncovered by The True Crime Weblog may show that Fritz Louderback is no stranger to attempting to entice young people.

Louderback, 63, and Anner, 54, allegedly abused up to 10 boys between the ages of 6 and 14. Two of the boys may have even been taken to the U.S., one adopted. Statements have been taken from possible victims by the police and State psychologists.

ABC News reported that allegations were made against the American couple last March. Police began investigating activities at the couples' home in the Colina del Sol nudeist colony, using undercover officers. Those investigations led to the arrests made early Tuesday.

Fritz Louderback and Barbara Anner ran an organization dedicated to giving free English lessons to kids who lived in the area. New Face, as it was called, may have simply been a front for sexual abuse and child trafficking. According to the Associated Press, Anner "was accused of luring the boys with promises of gifts, food and trips."

According the police commissioner in charge of the investigation, the Americans have denied everything.

Barbara Anner once wrote a glowing article about Colina del Sol for a site called EscapeArtist.com: "Colina del Sol ~ Paradise Found!"

She spoke of "Retired US Naval Aviator and Fighter Pilot, Fritz Louderback, from Southern California," whom she said was "the first North American to receive the Brazilian Retirement Visa permitting United States Citizens the opportunity to live fulltime in Brazil."

An article from the San Diego Evening Tribune, written in May, 1985, did reference an "F.C. "Fritz" Louderback of Scripps Ranch" who had been named "outstanding faculty member of the month by National University." Louderback was teaching aerospace and math at the University, and in the past he'd received "the Greater San Diego Chamber of Commerce Outstanding Service Award and the Theta Chi Fraternity Exceptional Service Award."

Anner continued:

A mid-generation member of three generations of Naturists, [Fritz Louderback] became interested in visiting Brazil through an advertisement that he read in "The Bulletin", the official publication of the American Association for Nude Recreation (AANR). There he picked up several copies of "Naturis" Brazil's foremost Naturism and Nude Recreation magazine. Reading articles in these magazines, he made up his mind to visit Colina do Sol. "I fell in love immediately! Not only for the place, but, as well for the people. I knew instantly that I would return to Colina do Sol to live the rest of my life!"

After her reference to Louderback, Anner wrote about herself:

His friend, companion, and associate Barbara Anner, past President of Olive Dell Ranch in Colton, California, USA, and a retired member of the Board of Directors of the Western United States Region of the American Association for Nude Recreation, known familiarly as "AANR West", also a Permanent Visa holder is of the same opinion: "I adore Colina do Sol and the people. This is the first place where I saw Fritz relax from his professional life as an aerospace consultant. This along with Colina's many amenities and the availability of the same level of furnishings and technology found in my home in Southern California make me feel extremely comfortable. In no time at all, we have made new friends. Colina's natives began to learn and speak English, and I, at a rather slower pace am learning Portuguese. We joke that we speak a new language, Por-English. I am happy that I have returned and plan to live here for the rest of life."

The article continued, quoting several others who found Colina do Sol to be a little slice of heaven on Earth.

At the end of the piece Anner promoted what appeared to be a Bed & Breakfast run by her and Louderback in Colina do Sol -- at one time it had its own website (now offline, few substantial files in the Internet Archive) -- www.DoisAmigosBandB.com. Below that little promo was a blurb "about the author," which read:

Barbara Anner is a great grandmother, retired after serving the Pacific Bell Telephone Company in California, USA for over 30 years. Barbara decided to find some adventure and Escape From America sometime after her husband’s early death to cancer. She needed a new start on life and she found it all, adventure and the new start at the Colina do Sol Naturist Community in the state of Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil. She invites you to contact her at DoisAmigosBandB@aol.com.

In the summer of 2001, "Jan and Bill" posted a review of their stay at Dois Amigos B & B in Colina do Sol. Quote:

We just received our November AANR Bulletin. We read an advertisement that we had not seen before. We telephoned 55-51-9128-80976. We got Barbara instantly. She sounded like she was just around three corner. How surprised we were to hear that she was speaking to us from Colina do Sol on her cell phone. Colina do Sol, most affectionately called Colina is a thousand miles south of Sao Paulo and even more south of Rio.

It is a naturist village dedicated to nude recreation atop a beautiful (severe green) mountain top. A huge lake with crystal clear water and about 300 nudists last weekend greeted us. A new language greeted us too. Por-English, a combination of English and Portuguese. Everyone were friendly to us. Little kids, girls and boys, hugged us. Teens stopped to talk and practice their English with us...

Of course, the review could have easily been written by Anner herself, considering the unique use of the term "Por-English."

Prior to Tuesday, Fritz Louderback's name was last in the news in 2005.

From "World Award Honors Heroes For Kids," published in November of that year:

Three children's advocates were honored recently for their work on behalf of kids from around the globe. The World of Children Awards, which nominees call a kind of a Nobel Prize for children activists, took place at UNICEF House.

A Nepalese plastic surgeon performed seven thousand free surgeries on children suffering from birth deformities or disfiguring burns...

[...]

One of the most inspiring honorees is a child himself. Seventeen-year-old Cristiano Pinheiro (pin-YERO) Fedrigo, from a poor mining hamlet in Brazil, began helping others at age 10. A teacher scolding him for begging, learned that Cristiano was trying to buy milk so that a destitute 16-year-old mother could feed her infant. After a friend's brother drowned in the local quarry, Cristiano and his gym teacher initiated swimming lessons for kids. A few years later, he convinced a local dentist that she would attract more patients if she discounted her fees.

Then when Cristiano was 16 his father, a miner, died of lung disease. To honor his father's wish that his son not suffer the same fate, Cristiano hopes to become his town's first chiropractor -- but first he wants to learn English.

His translator and friend Fritz Louderback explained: "His first intentions are to come to the U.S. and study at a university where he can learn English. The Baruch College of New York City University is very receptive to students from foreign countries who need to learn English in order to start their education. And so we're meeting tonight with the chancellor and hoping Cristiano will start the school year in New York City in September."

Perhaps Louderback's interest in young Cristiano was innocent. There's no way to know, at the moment.

Even if Cristiano was safe while with Louderback, The True Crime Weblog found evidence online of possible attempts by a Fritz Louderback made some 11 years ago to lure children via the Internet. If these were not attempts at enticement, they may have been coded messages reaching out to other like-minded individuals.

An initial search of Google Groups for "Fritz Louderback" yielded this message, posted by a Fritz Louderback, on July 14, 1996. Louderback simply asked other users of the rec.aviation.military.naval news group for "Assistance in obtaining a current list of USN & USMC squadrons and their mailing addresses." This seemed consistent with the history for Louderback reported by Barbara Anner in the article she wrote for EscapeArtist.com.

For his newsgroup post, Louderback used the following email address: FritzL@aol.com.

Searching Google Groups for this email yielded a few more results, and some of these were strange, to say the least.

On July 25, 1996, someone using the name Nicole wrote a message titled "Girl 14 years old," and she posted it in news.newusers.questions. "Her" message was short: "I would like to improve my english [...] please contact me."

There were a handful of responses, some openly leering. One seemed innocent enough. It read, "I am 14, my name is Ricky." It was followed by an email address. Clicking on the ellipses in that address and filling in a captcha revealed "fritzl@aol.com."

That could have been a typo. Someone perhaps using a different address accidentally adding in a stray letter, like "l."

But on August 30, 1998, someone posting as "FritzL" left the following message in alt.mining.recreational:

Our family has recently joined a new clothing optional resort called Deanza Springs near Jacumba, California...

[. . .]

Me, my friends and brothers have found an abandoned railroad, hidden abandoned strong boxes cemented into the rocks, an old broken down damn and a bunch of Indian art, pottery schards and stuff. BLM land is right next to the resort property. What we want to know is, are there any minerals like gold or precious stones that we should be looking for?

Can anyone help us?

Please post answer or email me at treyl13@aol.com

Trey, 13

Emphasis was added.

Was the post some sort of weird code, or was "FritzL" trying to pose as a 13-year-old named Trey in order to lure boys in his target age group?

Given Fritz Louderback's current perch in a jail cell somewhere in Brazil and the accusations leveled against him and his companion, it is a question worth asking.

Any doubt as to the value of asking what FritzL@aol.com was up might be mitigated by this page:

http://www.abreuevieira.com.br/villaitalia/index.htm.

It was created for "Villa Italia," a "wonderful resort" that was looking "for investors." The resort was to be in Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil.

The contact number was 55-51-9128-80976, the same phone number given for Louderback's and Anner's Dois Amigos B & B. Fritz Louderback was the contact's name, and his email address was FritzL@aol.com.

If the sixty-something Louderback is a pedophile as the Brazilian authorities allege (the FBI may also be involved in the investigation), he didn't just start a few years ago. As is too often the case, the trail of damaged lives and wounded psyches could stretch across continents and over decades.

This entry will be revised and updated if necessary.

UPDATE, 1/17/08

From MSNBC/The AP:

[Brazilian] Judge Vancarlo Andre Anacleto indicted Frederic Calvin Louderback, 63, of San Diego, and his companion, Barbara Anner, 72, on charges of "the sexual abuse of children, corruption of minors and conspiracy," Renata Savian, the judge's top aide, said by telephone Thursday...

Sources:

• ABC News;
• Associated Press.

LINK TO HALOSCAN-HOSTED COMMENTS.

You may continue leaving comments using the new system below.

Two Church-related Shootings in Colorado **UPDATED**

(The following entry has been cross-posted to blog.myspace.com/truecrimeweblog.)

(SUBSTANTIAL UPDATES MADE ON 12/11/07. SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THE ENTRY.)

(UPDATE MADE 12/12/07 WITH NEW INFO, LINKS.)

Early Sunday morning a bearded, bespectacled young man started shooting in a missionary training center in Arvada, Colorado. The twenty-something white male wounded two staffers at the Youth with a Mission center and killed two others. The victims in Arvada (a suburb of Denver) were 26-year-old Tiffany Johnson, a young woman from Minnesota, and Phillip Crouse [Crouse's private MySpace profile], age 23, from Alaska.

One of the victims in the incident in Arvada was said to still be in critical but stable condition.

Police said that the gunman had tried to gain admittance to the center earlier in the evening and was denied. He may have returned later and opened fire.

He was described as wearing dark clothing, a jacket and a skull cap of some sort.

This blogger just posted an entry yesterday about the work being done at the YWAM training center. The young people staying there were gearing up for a mission trip to Argentina. A friend left a comment for the blogger today. In reference to the shooting, the friend wrote, "[We] are with you in prayer as you deal with the loss of Tiffany and Phillip, injuries to Dan and Charles, and the feelings of terror you must have felt in those moments..."

Several hours after the attack on the Youth with a Mission facility, shots were fired again, in Colorado Springs, CO, an hour and a half south of Denver.

This time the target was the New Life Church, former home of infamous fallen pastor Ted Haggard.

Gunfire broke out at New Life around 1:30 p.m. Mountain Time.

As many as four victims were shot outside the New Life Church. Authorities reporting from the scene say there may be two gunmen in Colorado Springs. Fox News has also reported that police are searching for a car loaded with bombs. CNN has said that one suspect in Colorado Springs is now in custody. New Life Church is on lockdown.

Witnesses described at least one gunman as a young male wearing all black and carrying what appeared to be an assault rifle.

Fox News anchors have repeatedly pointed out that if these shootings targeted faith-related facilities on purpose, they could be hate crimes under Colorado statutes.

365Gay.com, however, has noted that both Youth with a Mission and New Life could be considered "anti-gay." Before becoming enmeshed in his own gay scandal, New Life founding pastor Ted Haggard had been an "outspoken critic of homosexuality." According to 365Gay.com, Youth with a Mission "has been involved with the so-called ex-gay movement. It was one of a number of conservative Christian youth groups brought together by Exodus International, said to be the largest "ex-gay" organization in the country."

No one knows yet if the shootings in Arvada were related to the incident in Colorado Springs.

UPDATE, 7:38 p.m. ET

The AFP is reporting a chilling quote from El Paso County Sheriff Terry Maketa on the shootings at New Life Church in Colorado Springs:

Maketa told AFP there was "one gunman down" and "four deceased, possibly one wounded" in the incident but said the toll was "preliminary."

There are reports that an armed security guard at New Life may have killed a gunman there. The number of gunmen involved in the second shooting is still unclear.

UPDATE, 12/10/07 7:24 a.m. ET

(Note: I'm still not feeling well. Some readers know that I have MS. It has been well under control for most of the last year or so, but a relapse began last week and has carried over into this week. This wouldn't usually affect blogging or writing, but this relapse has brought with it some balance problems, and I can only look at a computer screen for so long before the dizziness and vertigo make it hard to do. I bring this up only to make it clear as to why there hasn't been more active blogging on this story in particular.)

Arvada police chief Don Wick has told reporters that the shootings in Denver and Colorado Springs may be related, after all.

The Denver Post published an address now under investigation in Englewood, Colorado. The address was sneakily inserted in a photo caption:

A Centennial Sheriff officer makes a phone call as nvestigators enter and leave a home at 10929 E. Berry Pl. (visible in background) in Englewood. (Glenn Asakawa, The Denver Post)

According to Arapahoe County, CO property records, the 4-bedroom, 2-story home at that address is owned by a family named Murray. The male owner has the same name as a neurologist who has done studies of multiple sclerosis with the Colorado Multiple Sclerosis Center, which is located in Englewood.

Police may have already confiscated two vehicles from the property.

The overall death toll in the Colorado church shootings is up to 5 -- 4 victims and the gunman himself. He was reportedly dispatched by a female security guard at the New Life Church after he'd opened fire in the parking lot.

I feared there would be another mass shooting somewhere in the U.S. after the Westroads Mall murder spree committed by Robert Hawkins on December 5. I still worry that before Christmas is over, we may see more.

UPDATE, 11:24 a.m. ET

The Associated Press has reported that the victims of the New Life Church shooting spree were sisters Stephanie and Rachel Works, ages 18 and 16, respectively. Also injured was a David Works, age 51, the girls' father.

UPDATE, 1:44 p.m. ET

The gunman was 24-year-old Matthew Murray, of Englewood, Colorado, according to multiple sources, including MSNBC.

With a name as common as that, I wish the websleuths out there luck in tracking Mr. Murray online. I don't have the energy to do it myself, today.

I'm just as curious about Jeanne Assam, a volunteer security worker at New Life Church, who took Mr. Murray down with her own weapon. She is a true hero.

UPDATE, 12/11/07, 7:26 a.m. ET

Posting as "nghtmrchld26," Matthew Murray hashed out his experience as a homeschooler as well as his loathing of evangelical Christians at a message board for ex-pentecostals.

According to multiple sources, including Fox News, Murray made a threatening post the night he began his rampage that duplicated in some respects words written by one of the Columbine killers, Eric Harris. The post has been either removed or made private due to the investigation into Murray's actions last Sunday, but other messages by the church shooter were still available Tuesday morning.

Murray wrote at length about what he claimed was his experience with Youth With a Mission in Denver. The following was posted on May 8, 2007:

I did my DTS at YWAM Denver and Dale Lambert was my DTS school leader. I witnessed all kinds of insanity. Men would be making out with other men in the hallways, listening to all kinds of "metal music"(non-christian), smoke pot with each other while off base, there were rumors of sexual activity, both hetero and homosexual.

Not that any of those things are bad...but.......
Why was I told that I couldn't be a missionary because I wasn't "social enough"? I was told that I was "an introvert."

Murray continued:

The fact is, in YWAM, and christianity, it's all about the Beautiful People. No, it's not just "one group of bad christians" but rather....almost every group of christians except for a few open minded non-evangelical churches. If you're an extrovert, and popular, then yes, there is plenty of love waiting for you in christianity. If you ask questions and want to understand things and/or desire a real and deep spirituality, or if you're just not popular...well.......you are considered as one of the horrible people and are either going to be abused or kicked out by "holy spirit love filled" christians. it's all about......
the Beautiful People........

On December 1, 2007, Murray made a post titled, "Insane things we went through in Christian homeschool." Murray wrote:

I remember the beatings and the fighting and yelling and insane rules and all the Bill Gothard bull**** and then trancing out...sh**......I'm still tranced out. I remember how it was like every day was Mission Impossible trying to keep the rules or not get caught and just....survive every single f***ing day. My mother's a f***ing psycho too, her and her whole church and christian family.

Of course people will say the usual fake answers "just stop being this way and be happy from now on..." "we don't have the time and the energy to give a s*** about you..." "you're not the only one who has it bad" "I had it a lot worse than you and I'm happy and doing great" "you're not popular you know...no one likes you very much"

Murray's words grew ominous:

I'm not getting any younger and it's time for the abuse to stop. Just because I'm not one of the "Beautiful People," just because other people don't understand or because I'm not "popular" does not mean I need to take any more s*** from anyone...

Like many antisocial personalities, Murray seemed to have a vast reserve of self-pity. This was expressed in lyrics he posted to the forum. One was published on August 5, 2007. He didn't say directly that he was the author. Murray posted other poems or lyrics in the thread that were actually from an album by the "melodic funeral doom band from Finland," Shape of Despair. Elsewhere he cribbed from American death metal rockers Deicide. nghtmrchld26's August post read, in part:

Crying all alone
The tears flowing down my face in a beautiful stream
The lovely misery and lonely darkness surrounding me
As I see everyone going on with their meaningless vain fake lives
All the posers and wannabes
All the abusers

Crying all alone
Cutting myself
High off the pain and darkness
Seeing so many fakers hating me
So many of my friends who have abandoned me
So many spiritual pretenders who failed to help me.
I�m your nightmares come true
You think you can punish me but you fail to see
That I�ve lived through a thousand nightmares
And all your worst Christian fears are coming true...

And so on. Further down the same message thread, "nghtmrchld26" posted another message, this one dated Oct. 1. Like much of his writing on the board, the content of the post is chilling, referencing depression, pain and hatred. The following part of that message was eerie because it reflected his ongoing hatred of YWAM:

This is also the downward spiral here....no one has any real answers, only lame answers and fear of what me and my friends grew up in, and fear of the depressing aftermath.
On the positive side, that fact that we've survived this long means we're a LOT stronger than most people, especially these lamers who are terrified of my poetry. We're stronger than these pentecostal Youth With A Mission assholes who said "you can't be writing down your feelings, especially not about depression." We've proven that we're a lot stronger than these sick bastards in the charismatic and pentecostal movement.

Welcome to the Nightmare

The message signature read, "You can't kill me because I'm already inside you."

Perhaps one of the strangest posts by nghtmrchld26 was made on September 7, 2007. The post title was "Prophetic Child." The message in its entirety:

Since I was at least age 6 my mother and her church friends have always told me about how my birth was "foretold." They say that while I was still in my mother's womb a "prophet" told my mother that I was to be, quote, "a prophet to the nations" and something along the lines of the next Billy Graham/Peter Wagner.
They said that the following verses applied to me:
Mat. 12.18 and Ezk. 36:26-28

Basically, they believe that I am their "chosen one" for "the end times" and according to the Ezekial passage they believe that I am going to go back to their church/system.

The problem right now is the fact that it appears that they are always going to pursue me throughout life(and they have said so), as I am supposedly the "chosen one." As far as I can tell they did not treat the other youth the same way.

Well, I don't want to be their "chosen one" at all. I just wish I could find some way to wake up from this nightmare.

Murray's words were accepted without question or criticism due to the nature of the forum -- most members seeming to feel that they were going through a kind of recovery. There were some replies that might be interpreted as sarcastic, but Murray didn't seem to catch the sarcasm. Later in the "Prophetic Child" thread, Murray elaborated on his "chosen one" story:

In this prophecy, they also believe that it was "prophesied" that I would rebel, but then RETURN to their church and that's helping to drive me crazy.

They will always be targeting me,hoping and praying I'll come back, waiting for some weakness(financial, health, or otherwise) so they can move in and re-convert me. Sometimes I fear I'll end up going back. Sometimes the depression gets so dark, and trying to live in the "real unsheltered world" gets so hard I start to think about returning back to what is at least "familiar," into a system I at least know how to behave and live in. I know there is a way out of this nightmare

It's just so f***ed up that this is the whole reason I was born.
The virgins are feeling cheated and there is an exit here,
Don't say it isn't it's true......

I went to God just to see.........

His words at the end of that Nov. 4 message indicated some sort of belief in the "prophecy," even though he'd first seemed skeptical.

Posting song lyrics by death metal bands as if they were his own words, using emoticons to indicate "crying" on certain messages... it's hard to believe he wasn't just a psycho gaming even other "ex-pentecostals."

It was in a thread improbably titled "Cabbage Patch Dolls" that Matthew Murray left a message where he mentioned both Ted Haggard -- the founding pastor of the New Life Church -- and Youth With a Mission (YWAM). A quote from Murray's post, made June 16, 2007, with emphasis added:

Harry Potter was considered to be "the new age satanist training manual for children that witches are trying to use in these end-times to promote satanism"

Interesting that Methamphetamine use and pedophilia were never on any of those lists......(maybe that's how Ted Haggard and other un-named christians excuse their various christian activities?)

I've since realized that these things were all based on fear and that the REAL evil and abuse was/is to be found in these pentecostal dominionist churches and authoritarian groups such as Youth With A Mission.

So, as far back as June of this year, Matthew Murray was alluding in an online message board post to the exact groups he ended up targeting on December 9, 2007. How long was his plan in place, after all?

UPDATE, 1:49 p.m. ET

A reader has pointed out via email that Matthew Murray may have posted on a separate forum entirely under the screen name, "Chrstnghtmr." (Link takes you to a site-specific search of the screen name.)

"Chrstnghtmr's" posts at IndependentSpirits.net were identical in tone and similar in content to the messages published on the ex-Pentecostal forum by nghtmrchld26.

Read what this person said two days after Robert Hawkins's December 5 shooting spree at the Westroads Mall in Omaha, NE (scroll to the bottom of the page linked):

Sounds like one of the Nobodies became a Somebody...sure he's still hated by everyone, that is obvious, but at least now he's a somebody.....and he's left a world that didn't give a sh** about him to begin with...

If Chrstnghtmr was indeed Matthew Murray, it appears he was most immediately inspired by Hawkins's spree. This is not a surprise, as these types of mass shootings sometimes seem to come in clusters.

Chrstnghtmr's last post was apparently made in the early a.m. December 9. In his message he referenced Ricky Rodriguez, an ex-cult member who went on a more personally-directed killing spree in 2005, taking out people he'd known personally in a sexually-abusive cult called "The Family."

Before quoting at length from a video left behind by Rodriguez, Chrstnghtmr wrote the following:

This kid went through abuse in christianity just like me and my friends.....he was even intended to be their next "prophet"...just my church said to me.......that I was going to be a "prophet to the nations" for their christianity
We'll have to see how accurate their prophecy really is

If Matthew Murray was posting from both the nghtmrchld26 and Chrstnghtmr screen names, he was probably referencing what nghtmrchld26 had said was his mother's prophecy for him -- an ex-pentecostal forum quote found in the previous blog update above. Murray claimed that part of that prophecy was that he'd return to the church after rejecting it.

I strongly believe both posters were Matthew Murray. Others do, as well, including one who chose a chilling screen name to use when leaving messages of mourning for Murray on the IndependentSpirits forum: Chrstnghtmr2.

UPDATE, 9:53 p.m. ET

A discussion is already occurring in the comments left on this post about a MySpace found by a commentator using only the initial "A."

The profile and blog attached to it reads like a rubric for every post found online by a screen name associated with Matthew Murray. The last login was December 8, the last blog post was made that day. The profile's headline reads, "You raised me up in your christian hell.....who's mistake am I anyways?"

It appears, though, to be owned by a 23-year-old woman using the name "Sarah."

A 23-year-old woman from Englewood, CO.

Many posts in the MySpace blog are identical to posts left by both nghtmrchild26 and chrstnghtmr at two message boards, posts quoted in previous updates. The same death metal song lyrics are quoted without attribution to the actual source.

Truly telling is the "About Me." Quoted in its entirety, with emphasis:

Abused and tormented by christians for many years growing up in christianity. Christians, if you want to preach/witness to me, please keep in mind: I know all the apologetics stuff, all the evangelism and pentecostal stuff. I was forced to memorize bible verses 5 days a week growing up 11 years in christian homeschool. I was involved with and taught the ideas of C. Peter Wagner, Mike Bickle, Bill Gothard, and many others. I went to all kinds of fundamentalist/pentecostal/evangelical bible studies, conferences, prayer meetings, and even a missionary school/ministry called Youth With A Mission Denver. Of course, LOTS of hypocrisy and NO REAL love to be found at YWAM Denver. I know the bible better than most christian pastors. Oh, and I've already been baptised, received "the baptism of the holy spirit", spoke in tongues and all those other games christians love to play. I've lived the christian life, did all the faith stuff, confessions of faith, the baptism stuff, the prayer stuff, and all the rule stuff. If I'm not changed, well, it aint my fault. I did my part of the deal. Christians thought they could get away with abusing me and others, they thought the Truth and Light would never be found out. They were wrong. Even though many christians have tried to oppress and control the lives of many, even though many christians serving darkness have tried to carry on their fascist agenda of bigotry, intolerance, tyranny, and hatred, the Light ever shines, even in the darkness though the darkness comprehendeth it not. The Light is available for all who have eyes to see. Read our blog for more

I believe this MySpace profile was a sock puppet for Matthew Murray. Why he used a young woman's photo and name is anyone's guess, though his MySpace groups might be a hint -- one was for "ALL REAL LESBIANS & BISEXUALS & BEATIFUL (sic) GIRLS."

Seems like the sort of group that might appeal to an immature, withdrawn young man like Murray.

The link for the profile, which is, incidentally, also named "Chrstnnghtmr":

http://www.myspace.com/69684771.

UPDATE, 12/12/07, 8:26 a.m. ET

In an article noting that the ex-Pentecostal forum owners warned the FBI about Matthew Murray's violent posts on Sunday, Dec. 9, a new possible screen name for Murray was revealed: "DyingChild-65." (It was actually "dyingchild_65" -- note the underscore.)

This is significant because I believe it provides another link back to the Chrstnghtmr persona he may have also created. Both the poster on the IndependentSpirits.net forum, and the female MySpace profile owner, who called herself "Sarah" and used the same screen name, adding only an "n" -- Chrstnnghtmr. The reason why the connection seems solid is simple -- the profile for Chrstnghtmr at IndependentSpirits, which can only be viewed by registered users, contained the Yahoo e-mail handle Chrstnghtmr_65.

There is a certain consistency here that is compelling, even in the simple addition of an underscore and a number to a screen name. There is a ton of repetition on the Web, but people still make unique and easily identifiable choices, too. That Murray was said to have spent countless hours online only makes it more believable that he'd have a complex and widespread presence on the Web.

As usual, the multiple contributors to the article mentioning "DyingChild_65" screwed up not only the formatting of the screen name (on the Web, the difference between a dash and an underscore is important), but their understanding of where this alleged Matthew Murray nick could be found online -- the posts he made were to the oldest public part of the Internet, the Usenet. Specifically:

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.suicide.holiday/.

This is the post that DyingChild_65 left on Sunday, December 9, at 9:33 a.m. MST. The message was titled, "Christian America.....this is YOUR Columbine." The message read:

I am DyingChild_65
[. . .]
I was raised in the the teachings of C. Peter Wagner, Bill Gothard,
Charismatic and Pentecostal movements and all that other bullshit.
Homeschooled for about 11-12 years. I was a staff member of Kings Kids
Denver, Ronny Morris is the director there. I was also put through a
YWAM Denver "DTS" school....both those places rejected me and wouldn't
let me be a missionary because.......I was "too shy"(translation:not
popular enough, a Nobody)
Me I've heard all the sermons on salvation and shit...I've looked
everywhere for spiritual truth....all I found in christianity was
hate, abuse(sexual, physical, psychological, and emotional),
hypocrisy, and lies....I'm just one of the Noodies who just wants to
be loved and accepted somewhere......I just want to be one of the
somebodies

Like Cho, Eric Harris, Ricky Rodriguez and others, I'm going out to
make a stand for the weak and the defensless... this is for all those
young people still caught in the Nightmare of Christianity...for all
those people who've been abused and mistreated and taken advantage of
by this evil sick religion....Christian America....this is YOUR
Columbine

DyingChild_65 also left another message half an hour later. He appeared to quote Eric Harris at length as he'd done in the messages removed from the ex-Pentecostal forum. The post was titled, "You Christians brought this on yourselves."

The message read, in part:

I'm coming for EVERYONE soon and I WILL be armed to the fucking teeth
and I WILL shoot to kill. ….God, I can't wait till I can kill you
people. Feel no remorse, no sense of shame, I don't care if I live or
die in the shoot-out. All I want to do is kill and injure as many of
you … as I can especially Christians who are to blame for most of the
problems in the world...

Additional alt.suicide.holiday posts by DyingChild_65:

"YOUR Christian Nightmare," posted 12/09/07 at 9:33 a.m.

Disturbing quote in which the writer may have even forecast his death later in the day:

By now it's over. If you are reading this my
mission is complete. I have finished
revolutionizing the neo-euphoric infliction
of my internal terror. Your children who
have ridiculed me, who have chosen not to
accept me, who have treated me like I am not
worth their time are dead. THEY ARE FUCKING
DEAD. Surely you will try to blame it on the
clothes I wear, the music I listen to, or
the way I choose to present myself- but no.
Do not hide behind my choices. You need to
face the fact that this comes as a result of
YOUR CHOICES. Parents, pastors, christians, YOU
FUCKED UP. You have taught these kids to be
gears and sheep. To think and act like those
who came before them, to not accept what is
different. YOU ARE IN THE WRONG. I may have
taken their lives and my own- but it was
your doing. Teachers, Parents, LET THIS
MASSACARE BE ON YOUR SHOULDERS UNTIL THE DAY
YOU DIE. Am I insane? Maybe. Is it my fault?
No. I did not choose this life, but I have
indeed chosen to exit it. You may think the
horror ends with the bullet in my head- but
you wouldn't be so lucky.

*********************

"We are the Nobodies," posted 12/09/07 at 9:49 a.m. MST.

Disturbing quote in which the writer reveals he was the inadequate, antisocial loser we've all assumed he was since Sunday:

So many people don't have any clue about The Nightmare we've grown up
in. I mean, it's not my fault I was raised in homeschool for 12
f***ing years and that I'm not able to "socialize normally." How am I
supposed to socialize and make new friends when I'm always left out of
everything, and always made to be the outcast? I'm nice, I'm
considerate, a lot of people tell me I'm intelligent and kind....so
why the f*** must everyone think they have some right to abuse and
reject me?

I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things. Never
inviting me to all your fun parties, never inviting me to hang out.
And no, don't say, 'Well, that's your fault' because it isn't. You
people had my phone number, and I asked and all, but no no no no no
don't let the weird kid come along, oooh f***ing nooo

Right now I'm trying to get laid and to finish up some sh**. Why the
F**k can't I get any? I mean, I'm nice and considerate and all that
s***, but nooooo.... it's not my fault I was sheltered my whole life
and wasn't given a f***inkg clue about sex and dating...

*********************

• "A Prayer"
• "New World Order Rising"
• "Eyeless"
• "Arrival of Satan's Empire"
• "Cause of Death: Suicide -- Lyrics," 12/06/07
• "Sweet Dreams are Made of This" -- this 10/27/07 post was introduced by DyingChild_65 as having been written by "a friend" who is "currently a young adult living on her own." The content of the alt.suicide.holiday message is virtually identical to this June, 2006 blog entry made by "Sarah" in the "Chrstnnghtmr" MySpace weblog.
  
• Date-restricted Google search of Google groups for "DyingChild_65" -- posts after 12/09 not included.
  

This post will be updated and revised.

Links, Sources:

• Agence France-Presse (AFP);
• 9News.com;
• CBS4Denver.com;
• Fox News;
• CNN;
• Reuters;
• DIGG this post.

LINK TO HALOSCAN COMMENTS, for reference. Please use the new commenting system otherwise.